When night falls and I lay in bed alone, I stare up at the ceiling in the pitch black. In the darkness I realize how insignificant and small I really am. How trivial my problems are in the grand scheme of things. How for every tragedy (real or imagined) I have thousands of bright lights on my record. Beautiful and romantic and hilarious instances over the course of almost 25 years that have truly caused me to smile.
Sometimes I forget that when you’re down, there is no where else to go but up. And that is where I want to be. It is also where I deserve to be.
I’m such a blessed girl. I have the most beautiful friends, who in a second are by my side at times of doubt and failure. They have taught me it’s ok to fail, as long as I tried to succeed. They are there for the highs as well as the lows, and they support me when my insanity takes over. We all want to be happy, and they respect the path I have taken to get there.
My family may not always understand me, but they support the life and career choices I have made for myself. They may not get the loud music and the tattoos but they still love me.
I’ve lived out one of the most amazing years of my life. I may have had bad days, but I have no complaints.
Because it seems every time I think I can complain… Something (or perhaps someone….) awesome and amazing comes into my life. They can cause you to take risks you wouldn’t normally. It can make you re-examine what you want. A curve ball if you will.
My actions are based on instinct. They are often made without rational thought. But in such a big world… and being one tiny part of it… who wants to waste time over-analyzing every little decision I make? What is happening in my life now is exciting… And I’m willing to take the chance.