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For some reason I can’t seem to get a good night’s rest these days. I try as best as I can but something keeps me tossing and turning and waking up in panic and fear. In nightmares I am losing the people I love most in this world. I’ve watched the girls I would die for get murdered and beaten in the worst ways. I’ve felt feelings of the worst sorrow. I’ve broken hearts. I’ve betrayed trusts. I’ve done everything I said that I wouldn’t ever do. The worst is when He comes back to haunt me. I just can’t take it anymore. Jumping up from a horrible scene with no air left in my lungs, tears down my face and a cold sweat on my body has become all too familiar of a feeling. I just want a night of sleep where I can rest. So I can function at full form in my hectic yet amazing life. But I can’t. These visions torture me. Seeing Him was the worst. In the dream world it’s so real. I still hear His voice like it was just yesterday. I feel His arms around me like it was happening in that very moment. I can see the blood shed of my loved ones in bright red. I can see the fear in her eyes as she has a gun between her beautiful eyes. I can see the pain in their face as they look at me for the last time.
My subconscious mind is playing games with me.
If it wins it will consume me.
Destruction is near.



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