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My heart is in my throat anytime you are near. Words become stifled and my breathing is shallow. Forcing myself to focus on each inhale and exhale as if my life depended on it. The way your eyes fall on me makes me weak. The way you grab me to kiss me causes me to forget everything else in the world. The way you stop… pull away… and look me in the eyes… just to draw me in again… it’s a dream. The words you say catch me by surprise. My body chills over the instant that your fingers touch my skin. Those brief moments that you are mine are blissful. Sinful. Painful. The passion that arises when we are alone… the intensity in your desire for me… The emotion in the way your hands trace my body… Causes a rising in thoughts and confusion in my head. You and I could make a good team. But we are both selfish and want what is right for ourselves. When in reality we both have no idea what is true. What is correct. We’ve played a silly game with all of this. Hiding it from the world. I can’t do it anymore. I cannot continue playing games with myself. I put myself into relationships that are destructive and dangerous. With everything else crumbling around me I need something more stable. Apparently you are not that. You are amazing. You are beautiful. I would continue to kiss you forever… But that is not an option for me right now. Once again I am preparing myself to walk away from a good thing because I am putting other people and their priorities before my own. I’m sorry.


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